Tuesday 27 May 2014

Family Time

The last couple of weeks have been a bit up and down around here, rather like the weather really. We've gone from camping out 'wild' in the woods on one of the wettest nights for a long time...




 To squeezing in some much needed time at the beach in lovely sunshine...



The water was cold!

This blog was always intended to be a making blog, rather than a family blog. Partly because I think I'm basically a very private person and partly because there are plenty of amazing 'family' type blogs out there and I don't feel I could add anything particularly valuable to that genre. Obviously there are plenty of amazing 'making' blogs too, but you can never have too much 'making'! But there are times when 'family' issues get in the way of 'making', and family is obviously much the more important. So, a 'making' blog suffers.

My Mum went into hospital a couple of weeks ago with a very serious infection. She got over the initial infection but there have been lots of complications since. She's 77 with very advanced Parkinsons, and hospitals have never been her favourite place, so really this shouldn't have been too unexpected. But it's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster of a two weeks, particularly for my Dad.  An emotional rollercoaster that we're still on at the moment.

It's been difficult for all the children too, and especially so for Maria. She's the one who's accustomed to spend the most time with me, and she's also at an age when she can understand plenty enough to realise that things are wrong, but maybe not quite enough to be reassured. Over the last couple of weeks she's become very unsettled. She hasn't wanted to be left at all, whether that's at the wonderful pre-school she normally loves, or even in the room next to me where she would normally play so happily, chatting away to herself and creating her own happy, little world. In particular, she's become very disturbed by the concept of death. A concept that really hasn't come into her life in any way before now. It's something I've found very difficult to handle, not least because it's an issue I personally have trouble coming to terms with myself too. I have been trying very hard to make sure that doesn't come across to her, but it's not easy. Four year olds can ask a lot of very searching, perceptive questions and can tear apart answers if they're not solid enough. Love, cuddles, physical reassurance and company, lots of time and attention, gentleness and patience have been helping much more than answers.

All the children are off on holiday this week, which is maybe just what Maria needs at the moment. There's been lots of giggling and playing with Venetia outside today, which has been so lovely to see and hear.






And tea provided for me at the end of it, perfect!


And a couple of times today I've heard her finding her happy place again and chatting away to herself in her own world. I'd been afraid she maybe wouldn't find that place again, so that's been wonderful to hear.

So basically there hasn't been any making going on and there probably won't be a huge amount over the next week or so either. I'll pop back as and when it does happen, but family time is very much the priority at the moment.

Sally.

7 comments:

  1. Hugs to you and your family. I will hold you all in my thoughts. xo

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  2. Prayers for your beautiful family!

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  3. Dearest Sal, What beautiful words. Martin and I sending you guys lots of love.xxxxx

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  4. Oh, Sally, I am so sorry to hear about the difficulties your family and your mom have been going through, I will keep your mom in my prayers...I can't begin to imagine how hard this has been on all of you. Little Maria's smile was nice to see in your photos...I'm glad the kids are able to have a break from school and enjoy some much needed family time. Love to you all!

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  5. I knew by your comment to my blog, that you were going through something like this. Our moms are always the ones that take care of everyone else. It's so hard for them to be the ones who need the care. I wish I'd read your post earlier, so I could have told you then, that you're in my heart, thoughts and prayers.

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  6. Thinking of you and your family, I hope everything settles down soon and your mum's ok.
    Love the pics of family too though, it looks such fun. V has such an infectious smile.
    I'm sure Maria will be ok, its a tough age, they understand and are intuitive to so much, yet there is so much they can't quite grasp. hugs xx

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  7. You know, I see a lot of making... making sure your parents are taken care of, making your little ones less afraid, making time to bring your family together in these difficult time. Making isn't always material to me. What you are creating now will last forever : a sense of safety and of home for little ones that are seeing for the first time that life isn't all trips to the beach and mud pies. The making of a family is to me the greatest creation. And you my dear Sally are a wonderful artist!

    Sending healing thoughts your way. xo

    Yanic

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